26 and still a kid

 First of all, I'm already turned 26 today and we still have to wear masks when going outside. Honestly feel like I've already forgotten how it feels like to breathe outside without a mask on that every time I get the chance to do that, it feels unreal. Okay, end of rant. For now.

I turned 26 today. Again, as usual, I didn't really celebrate. But I'm blessed to have been given the opportunity to do something I love doing today. Same as last year, this outreach was for someone else's birthday, but I'm happy to spend my time doing something with a purpose. We visited Little Angel's Home in Cavite to give some gifts to the kids and grocery supplies for the orphanage. It is heartbreaking knowing that there are a lot of kids put in situations like these, but it is nice to make them feel extra special even just for a day with simple gifts that hopefully make them smile. 

Deep inside me, I not only feel for these kids, but I relate to them too. If you know me or you've read my previous posts, you probably know that the reason why I haven't actually celebrated my birthday in a few years now is because I lost my mom a day after my 16th birthday. Then, to make it even more impossible for me to feel like celebrating, I also lost my dad whose birthday is just a few days from mine a few years ago. For these reasons, it doesn't feel like a day to celebrate at all. As much as I appreciate my friends and family who would make efforts to celebrate for me in the past, birthdays just doesn't feel the same. 

For all those reasons, I don't mind spending my birthday doing outreach activities at all. It makes me feel a whole lot better to do something that at least matters to other people. I turned 26 and birthdays are so different now from when I was a little kid. And honestly, I don't think it will ever feel the same. But hopefully, one day, by some miracle, it starts feeling special again until I actually feel like celebrating it once again.