When Will This End?

 I've been feeling weird the part few days, but this feeling isn't entirely weird to me. I've felt like this so many times before. When you don't even know what you actually feel. When you can't exactly pin point the reason why. When you don't know how to make yourself feel better. So you just kind of let yourself be carried by the tide, float in space, and eat ice cream like it's what would keep you away from this weird place.

I only ever make guesses what exactly made me feel this way. Sometimes, they sound like excuses even to myself. But this time, my guess is this: the fear of COVID has crept in me again. The cases are rising so high again, there's so many death news; and I'm scared. It scared me more than ever when I heard my grandmother, along with a few other family members tested positive. Ever since the pandemic started, that has been my number one fear, for my grandmother to get sick. Thankfully, she and most of the family members that got sick has been fully-vaccinated around two months ago. They all are feeling better now, and hopefully, they all fully recover soon. 

Another thing that has been making feel this way is all the deaths that I see on social media and on the news daily. It hits harder though when it's a relative of someone that you know. It's been over a year since the pandemic started and it still feels like we're right where we are when this thing reached it's height. Many parts of the world has recovered now and they are now able to live life as it should be lived. But us? It seems like we're stuck. The pandemic has robbed us a lot of time and a lot of people has lost someone, but the inefficient pandemic response of our government is robbing us more time and killing more people.

That's another thing that maybe contributes to why I feel like this. It is utterly frustrating. It is so hard to feel good, or even just okay when you don't even see a glimpse of light that all this will end soon. It feels like waiting for the world to end, but it's all happening ever so slowly. And now, the only thing you can do is hope against hope that this all ends soon. It feels like the only thing we can do now is make a wish and pray to God, to the saints, to the universe that we survive this.

But my other hope is that come 2022, we as youth would step up to make a difference and vote. And that whatever happens will be in our favor so we can reclaim the life we're meant to live along with the many things that was taken away from us.